Navigating the Storm: Coping with Grief & Loss

Grief healing happens by working in stages – it involves going up and down, reverberating back and forth through it. Each person’s grieving is unique and personal to them, influenced by their personality, Belief systems, emotional uptake, family culture, and the nature of the loss. It’s normal to see a range of emotions come up when healing. They may come in waves, sometimes unexpectedly, and can be overwhelming.

Coping with Grief:

1. Giving Oneself the Permission to Grieve: Sometimes, people have trouble giving themselves the permission to feel whatever emotions arise. I have met clients in our therapy sessions who have had to put up a brave front for the sake of others, ‘so that things don’t fall apart’ or because they were needed to step into responsibilities assuming more than they were prepared to take. And while this may have been necessary for some of them, it also continued on as a state for too long, where they couldn’t express their own emotions adequately.

           In such situations, unfortunately, it has ended up taking a toll on such individuals at some point – either feeling exhausted, or becoming anxious about not being able to manage everything well, sometimes getting used to ignoring their own needs in putting others first and suffering, or ended up becoming more short-fused and burnt-out from people and life, as a consequence of it. Unfortunately, there are such emotional outcomes of being ‘too strong’, without adequate release.

2. Identifying Dysfunctionality: Although there is no one absolute method to grieve loss, it helps to notice if grieving is leading to any dysfunctionality. Identifying if the pain is beginning to feel ‘unbearable’, is exacerbating feelings of loneliness or depression, is increasing anxious behaviours or bringing up compulsive habits, or is leading to erratic moods, angry outbursts, showing trouble managing daily life or having trouble emoting and crying for release. If these signs exist, it is beneficial to not overlook them.

3. Seeking Support & Therapy: Grieving can feel isolating, so it helps to create a support with friends, family members, or a group who can offer empathy and understanding. Talking about one’s feelings can be cathartic and can help one to feel less alone in their grief. If someone you know is struggling to cope, help them consider seeking help with one of our therapists at AltMindShift who specialize in grief counseling and can help break isolation for the member.

4. Taking Care of Yourself: During times of grief, it is common to neglect self-care, but slowly making the effort for it can help bring back emotional well-being. Indicators that directly point to emotional health are behaviours such as eating patterns, sleeping patterns and engagement with activities that bring comfort. Being gentle with oneself and prioritizing self needs can help to heal in healthy ways.

5. Honouring the Memory: Finding ways to honour the memory of the loved one can contribute to the healing process. This could involve creating a memorial, planting a tree, or participating in activities that were meaningful to them. Keeping their memory alive can provide a sense of connection and comfort. If there are residual feelings of anger that come up here, acknowledging them and seeking help can be beneficial.

6. Employing Mindful Practices: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help one stay present and grounded during moments of intense grief. If it feels too heavy to do this alone, looking for a guided meditation that helps to feel balanced can work. Even mindful journaling can help, if done the right way into healing self-talk which is not only focused on expanding negative hopeless or helpless thoughts related to loss, but also helps in closing wounds. Our therapy has often looked at these aspects in providing help.

7. Allowing Time for Healing: Again, because healing is such a personal journey, there is no timeline for when one should be ‘grieving less’. Being patient with oneself and allowing oneself to grieve at their own pace, acknowledging your humanness in coping, with more self-compassion and kindness brought in to oneself for pain healing helps in the process of recovery. It’s okay to have good days and bad days, and it’s important to acknowledge your progress, no matter how small.

In conclusion, I would say, coping with grief is never easy, but it is possible to find healing and hope amidst the pain. By allowing oneself to feel emotions and seeking support, one can gradually move towards acceptance and peaceful coexistence with the reality of loss.  

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